Satire from The Hudson Valley Vindicator

City Attorney Reveals He Does Legal Work for Kingston

June 26, 2021

Kingston, NY – Kingston residents were blindsided Saturday when City Attorney Gary Daniels revealed that legal work has taken up a significant portion of his legal workload for more than a year.

Daniels complained bitterly that the legal work was cutting into quality time with his paralegal. He said that before the weekly 40-hour legal workload became the norm, he and his paralegal took long, thought-filled walks where he lectured the paralegal on arcane legal theory. He said the paralegal produced at least one brief on each walk.

The solution, Daniels said, would be a sweep to victory by the newly-formed Good Government party in November elections. Quoting Thoreau’s famous dictum, “Government is best which governs least,” Daniels said it followed that “Good Government is best which governs least well.”

Kingston Mayor Steve Noble praised the attorney’s “iron-clad logic” and threw his support behind the new party, noting that he and most of Kingston’s Common Council were already honoring the platform’s commitment to do the least good, or at least the least, possible.

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