A large moveable kiosk laden with local promotional literature was seen lumbering toward North Front St., setting off panic among the developers of the Kingstonian multi-use project in historic Uptown.

“We can’t let someone beat us to it. We thought our kiosk would be the clincher to getting the PILOT,” said project attorneys, who specialize in 5th Amendment rights of politicians.  “We were even willing to identify its funder.”

“We had to reshuffle a lot of commissions to get the right people to pick the right kiosk,” the developer said, “and we finally settled on one that costs $786.” He said the extraordinary effort was reflected in the lengthy discussion about the kiosk in the PILOT application, which appears to ask for $30 million in tax breaks.

The visibly distraught developer immediately ordered Kingston police to investigate the origins of the rival kiosk and instructed the Planning Board to revoke its permits.  

After consulting with his purchasing agent at City Hall, the developer agreed to a higher priced kiosk for $845, which boasts an extra three shelves for local promotional material.

Meanwhile, the architect vowed he would do whatever necessary to secure IDA approval, including reworking the kiosk until it was perfect – “just like Beethoven’s Violin Concerto.”